New Years Eve

On the eve of a new year I’ve decided to do some thinking. I’m 20 years old, I know it’s not old. But it’s also not young. It was strange when I turned 20 this year, I realized I was no longer a teenager. There’s something about being a teen that lets you be immature while still growing up. Now I feel I need to think seriously about everything. I graduate in 2 years and I have to be able to stand on my own. I know I’ll be able to but it’s still intimidating. It’s like looking up at a huge mountain and you know that you have to climb it or you’ll be stuck where you are forever. So I’ve started climbing my own mountain this year. Before I’d simply looked up at that mountain, never attempting to climb it, yet I was planning what I’d do till I was 30. I had planned to work with the NYPD in the Forensic Unit, get a studio apartment in the city, and not get married till I was well past 30. And now… now I’ve realized a few things. First off I don’t know if I’ll live to be 30 so why plan so far ahead? This life is short. Tomorrow might be my last day here. Or I’ll live another 50 years. Who knows? One thing I do know is that I want to live a full life, however long it is. I’ve had friends come and go. I’ve attended a funeral for a friend in high school and it’s only now that I realized what I leaned from Tucker. Live life. Just two simple words but there’s so much that goes behind that. I realized that things have changed and my future has changed too so I’ve given up on my old plans. I’ll live where I’m supposed to. Work where I’m supposed to. And marry when and who I’m supposed to. It might be six months or six years. Either way I’ll be happy. Another thing I learned from Tucker was to dream big. So I’m dreaming big and making those dreams happen. I leave for Ireland in 17 days. A new chapter of my life is starting. I have blank pages that need to be filled. But I know this chapter will be short, 4 months short. Because after I finish the semester I will get on a plane and come back to the states but I have no intentions of staying. I’ll be back on a plane for London. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I no longer have a future in New Jersey. Things have changed and my new life starts in London. Another new chapter that will last as long as I want it too. I will only end it when I see fit. Because tomorrow today will be history, this year will be history. History is in the past, it’s only purpose is to get you to your current point, once you get there it serves as nothing but a story. You can’t change it so just accept it. I realize that I used to be so concerned with time, with wanting to grow up faster, with wanting to finish school as fast as I could. Time is no longer important to me because I know that everything will happen at just the right time and I’ll be ready for it at that time. On this new years eve I would like to shed my old skin, shed old fears, and leave behind burden I’ve carried. I want a fresh start. And I want to live. I’ll live life and be happy with everything that comes my way. I’ll thank God everyday for giving me another day to live and breath in the sweet air. I’ll count my blessings and be thankful for my family and friends. I’ll be thankful knowing that there are things coming my way that I can’t even imagine and I’ll be happy when I finally receive them. I’d like everyone to know that at 20 years of age I have finally decided that I don’t care what other people think and that I will live my life how ever I want, I will ignore naysayer’s and skeptics, I will remember those I have lost and live as if I need to live for them too, but I will be me and only me. I might never come back to New Jersey for more then a few weeks, and I’m fine with that. I might never have these opportunities again so that’s why I’m grasping them and holding on tight. I’m going to live like tomorrow will be too late. After all I don’t know when my road will end but I do know that I will have zero regrets.

The Kean I Know

Hi all. Happy Holidays.



So I thought I’d do this post. I’ve sort of been working on it for a while. The last feel weeks of school I’ve been taking my camera to class and I’ve been taking pictures of campus. So in honor of me moving out last Thursday here’s the Kean I know!

Heading toward the gym. nice trash cans right?

Cougars Walk coming out of the quad

These two pictures ore of the first snow of the year and my last snow on campus, I woke up the next morning and it had melted. But it was nice while it lasted!!

That's UC straight ahead and i just thought it looked soooo pretty lit up at night

The lovely view from my room hahahaha

um.... this is behind the library... yeah...

Crossing the street toward the new STEM building. It's such a nice place to have classes. 

I like the wheeely chairs

Walking up the STEM sidewalk/ looking over at main campus

Main Campus by Wilkins Theater

So there's the Kean I'll remember!

Laters,

Insert Title Here

I’ve been working on my paper for my Revolutionary Era Europe class since I got the assignment two weeks ago. All I have written is the intro and conclusion. Now mind you I have an outline to go with it… I just haven’t written it. Why? I have Quotes to back my points up. I have the research. I have more then enough nifty ideas to tie it all together. So what’s holding me back? I can’t come up with a title I find suitable. It’s one of my downfalls I suppose… I can’t write a paper without first giving it an epic title. I can’t write a book without giving it a mindblowinly epic title. Sure I’ll change it but it needs a title for me to invest my time in it. I feel that if something doesn’t have a title and I’m going to be investing my time into it then I’m sort of afraid that I’ll drop it and move onto something else. So now I’m trying to come up with a title for my paper or else i'll be leaving it till tomorrow night and i don't want to do that.