Life Creeps In

I once knew a wise girl. Everything that happened in her life, the good, the bad, the awkward and unseen were all “Part of the Plan.” It didn’t matter what happened to her she’d shrug it off and say that it was in the Plan. This inspired her friends and perhaps aggravated her parents. While she was alive and I knew her a bit I simply assumed she had a plan, some grand way paved through life. It made me a tad jealous as she was four years younger then me. Then last October she was in a fatal car crash. I heard the news while I was waiting for my plane in the Madrid airport, it hit me real hard for a few reasons. 1-I’d been praying for her since the accident had happened 2 days before. 2- it was the day before my friend Tucker’s third anniversary of his death. 3- she was real young. But maybe this was in her plan too. It was only after her passing and learning more about her through various channels that I realized the real Plan was to have no plan.


That’s the best kind of plan I could ever think of. If you have no plan there’s no disappointment if something falls through. And lately I’ve had a lot fall through in my life. First London and being deported. And most recently the Coast Guard. I found out last month my physical wasn’t up to their standards and I got declined. That sent me into my most recent funk of ruined dreams. Along with a pile of personal life fall throughs. So I’ve been sulking about the house for a while now not knowing what to do or where to go in my life. I’d made the mistake of having a Plan.


Having a plan seems to be my constant downfall. Because I think of all the doors that have been opened when I didn’t plan them too. Silly me though I kept making plans. I’ve been telling myself since I got deported that I don’t want to go back to school. Why? Quite frankly it was boring a hell. My mistake there though, I chose a majors I loved and knew a lot about so naturally I was relearning things I’ve known since high school. I’ve been entertaining going back to school for a week or so now on a pre-med track but all the majors were something I knew about and I didn’t fancy any of them. And just today it dawned on me that maybe I just needed  major I knew absolutely nothing about. So I started looking around at unis. I looked at places my friends had been too/are at. And low and behold I found something that was real cool sounding and I knew nothing about it. Neuroscience. Legitimate sounding right? All I know is what I read on the uni sights, it’s the study of the brain. So clearly if I know nothing about it I’m going to be motivated to attend class, learn and graduate. I’ll have to study since I’m clueless as to what it is. It’s going to be a challenge… something I’ve been dying for since… well years it seems. I left middle school assuming High School would be hard. It wasn’t. So I turned my sights to university and again I was let down to my flaw of planning and choosing something I could easily pass.


Now I’ve got a Life Non-Plan to apply to a few schools to be a Neuroscience Pre-health major. I’m not planning on graduating or getting in. I’m done planning. The Plan is to have no plan. So from now on everything is going to be a part of The Plan.. Confusing right? The Plan is no plan… but catchy and easily achieved. So wish me luck as I stumble toward the horizon and my Life Non-Plan… whatever it really is.






Cheers,